Depression in men is a reality

Be Alert not Alarmed 

Recently I was reading an article published by a Dr Richard Elghammer about clinical depression in men. Dr Elghammer is a well recognised clinical psychologist in the United States and runs a Family Centre dealing with depression in family relationships.  

He quoted some statistics that are rather mind-numbing.  I share these with you not to create a sense of fear.   Rather I want to create a sense of greater awareness and understanding of how male depression can begin so that you can become tuned into the symptoms and take steps to prevent a fully blown cycle of depression developing. 

Save the life of your partner, son, brother or father 

Put aside your pre-conceived ideas about clinical depression.  Take the time to read this blog.   You could be saving the life of your partner, son, brother or father. 

Here are the statistics we can be aware of:

• Men commit suicide at a rate five times that of women. 
• Men’s lives are more often destroyed by drug and alcohol addiction than women
• Anger problems in men lead to high rates of divorce and domestic violence 

Dr Elghammer goes on to ask the question: 

“what do anger, addiction, jail time and suicide have to do with depression in men?” 

To answer this he takes us on a journey into the inner workings of a man’s mind.   Come with me into this amazing world of discovery. 

The Inner Workings of a Man’s Mind 

A.       The Six Rules of Manhood (for men these rules define strength)

1.  Don’t cry
2. Don’t show pain
3. Never ask for help
4. Don’t show fear
5. Don’t feel (anything),  and
6. Anger is OK to show because it commands respect 

Any of this ringing a bell with you or causing you to sit up and take notice? 

B.         Bury and Erase Emotions 

“Men use repression – the ability to bury feelings and denial – the refusal to acknowledge events, as tools for achieving manhood” Dr Elghammer quotes. 

C.         Depression takes hold 

When used over time, unhealthy repression begins to put too much pressure on the “mental machinery” of a man’s mind.   Instead of working through and talking about how a bad customer inflames them, men tend to swallow the anger.   This sets up a chain reaction. 

As more and more emotions are repressed negative and self-destructive thinking patterns emerge, which tear away at a man’s self-esteem.   Eventually the “mental machinery” breaks down and a full blown depression erupts on family members. 

How helpful is it to have such an understanding of the inner workings of a man’s mind! 

Now are you feeling better equipped to recognise and understand the symptoms of male depression?  I’m sure you are, aren’t you?

Personally this insight has helped me enormously in my own situation where I support a partner who suffers with depression. 

What should you do if you recognise any of the behaviours or symptoms referred to above? 

• Communicate openly and honestly with your partner, son, brother or father who is showing signs of depression.  Please do not ignore this or put it in to “too hard” basket.
• Timing is all important with this communication.   Choose an appropriate time to raise your concerns.   Do this in private with the person and at a time when you sense they will be receptive to your communication
• Resources are your best friend.   Have relevant information on hand that you can share with the person involved to assist them recognise the depression and to understand that this is a common medical condition experienced by men
• Guide them wherever possible to seek medical attention as soon as possible.   In doing this you could avoid a fully blown episode of depression.   I know this is an awkward issue to handle, however it is a far more difficult issue to handle if the depression is left unattended. 

I trust this blog has given you greater clarity on how depression can develop within men and how best to manage the situation when you are recognising the symptoms of depression. 

Please contact me if you have any questions on this issue.  

If you are supporting a partner, brother, son or father suffering with depression and would benefit from some one on one personal coaching to assist you effectively manage your situation please make contact with me. 

Together we can find a pathway forward for you and discover significant tools and strategies that can turn your situation around.

Contact:  christine@trailblazingwoman.com.au 

Christine McRae, The Trail Blazing Woman

Personal Coach and Mentor

©August 2010, The Trail Blazing Woman