Can your relationship survive the challenge of depression?
Yes!
There are strategies, tools and insights that can turn your situation around and show you the way to reclaim yourself and regain your emotional energy and freedom.
Christine McRae of The Trail Blazing Woman is well experienced in supporting a partner affected by depression. On these blogs she has been sharing some of her insights that have made a world of difference to her situation and relationship.
Here is Insight 7 of the 10 Christine will be sharing with you on her blog.
Reclaim Yourself.
Stop turning yourself inside out to be who your depressed partner wants you to be depending on their mood
When I was first confronted with my partner’s depression I was so confused and in such emotional turmoil that I simply didn’t know what to do or who I should be?
I was turning myself inside out and upside down trying to please my partner or appease the mood swings. Is that sounding like you? Then please read on.
It is okay to be yourself – in fact it is best that you are!
If you have made the decision that the easiest way to manage your partner’s depression is to be and do whatever your partner wants you to be, depending on their mood, then you are not being true to yourself.
This means that you are unconsciously allowing your partner’s depression to control you and you are actually facilitating their disorder. This is not healthy for either yourself or your partner. Have a fresh look at what is happening.
Check out whether or not you are being true to yourself. If you discover you have been sacrificing who you are for the sake of the relationship, I would encourage you to take steps to begin to change this. To be yourself will be one of the greatest stabilisers you can contribute to the relationship.
Reclaim yourself – reclaim your energy
Now is the time to reclaim your personal freedom. Keep yourself free from your partner’s “stuff” while they are in their cycle of depression. Their frustration, embarrassment, reactions and responses are “their stuff”.
Be who you love to be, do what you love doing, have fun and be around those who bring refreshment to you.
This way you will reclaim yourself and your energy.
If you have more energy you will be better able to manage your situation and have a positive impact on your partner and your family.
Christine McRae, The Trail Blazing Woman, [email protected]
©January 2010, The Trail Blazing Woman
Hi Chris,
I think it’s awesome that you are supporting partners married to depression. My husband supported me through the five years I was depressed and without him it would have been a mess. However, there was no support for him. After reading your posts, I can see how it would have benefited him greatly if he was able to share his challenges with someone like you.
Keep up the good work.
Ciao,
Ludwina Dautovic