Lose your sense of shame

Lose your sense of shame and embarrassment about your parnter’s depression. 

Insight 2 of 10 on Managing Depression Within a Committed Relationship(Marriage or Parnership):

After reading yesterday’s blog about reaching out and asking for appropriate help I am sure you are feeling more supported and not so alone. 

I am also sure that you are making some life changing decisions right now in relation to what you can do to ensure you are getting the guidance and wisdom you need so that you can effectively manage living with your partner who is affected by depression.

If you are feeling a sense of shame and embarrassment about your partner’s depression now is a good time to have a look at why you feel this way so you can move past this point and into a new place of emotional freedom within your relationship.

Why do you feel a sense of shame and embarrassment? 

When the reality of depression touched my relationship my partner was no longer the self assured, highly motivated, emotionally robust person that he used to be.   All of a sudden I found myself living with a different person.  My instinct was to protect my reputation and my partner’s from this strange phenomenon that had overtaken his personality.  I am wondering if you can relate to this? 

How could I possibly explain to my close family, friends and work colleagues that my relationship was disintegrating because I no longer understood the person I was married to?  Why did I keep so silent on this?  In case they judged either myself or my partner as being “weak” or inadequate in some way.  Is this sounding familiar?

Embarrassment

I felt embarrassed that I could not find the answers within myself to heal the relationship.

Here are some important keys to remember that will assist you to lose your sense of shame and embarrassment about your partner’s depression and assist you to move into a new place of emotional freedom: 

• at least 1 in 5 men will experience depression in their lives at some time.
• more than 1 in 5 women who have partners, are going through the same emotional pain and challenge that you are
• you are by no means alone in this new world of depression that you have been plunged into.  There are many other women experiencing exactly what you are.
• The more you are conscious of feeling a sense of shame and embarrassment about your partner’s depression, the more you will project these emotions on to your partner and deepen their sense of shame and embarrassment

Become the woman who can influence your partner’s own emotional wellbeing. 

 By liberating yourself from a sense of shame and embarrassment you set the tone for your partner to feel more at ease about this unexpected depression they are experiencing and to reach out for help themselves.

Christine McRae, Trail Blazing Woman

© December 2009, The Trail Blazing Woman 

If you would like to chat further about this please post your response on my blog site or email me at christine@trailblazingwoman.com.au.