Relationships in church life

Relationship Boundary SettingEffectively managing damaging or toxic relationships in church life does not need to be complicated, awkward or put in the “too hard basket”.   Let’s have a look at some new perspectives on this and new strategies that could build even greater communication and understanding into your relationships within the church.

For those of you who have had negative experiences in church life that have damaged or destroyed your walk with Christ, there is restoration waiting for you.   Please take the time to read and understand how my specialised relationship coaching in this area can bring you into a place of emotional wholeness again. 

My experience of church life has shown me that relationship issues and strains exist as much in church life and ministries as they do in our workplace or family life.  I have had a great deal of opportunity to observe how these relationship issues are managed or mis-managed and I am left wondering why it is that relationships within church life are managed any differently to those relationships we manage in our secular or personal life?   

From my experience it appears the greatest challenge to effectively managing relationships within church life or a ministry is balancing the truths of grace, mercy and forgiveness with the words of Paul expressed in Ephesians 4:15

 … Instead, speaking the truth in love ,we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of Him who is the Head, that is Christ.

I am wondering if the church may have lost sight of the simple, yet powerful truth expressed in this scripture – speaking truth in love so that we will grow.  I totally appreciate this is easier said than done yet we do not appear to hesitate to function through this truth in our secular roles or family life.

How can this be made easier in church life?

We can certainly learn a great deal about management of relationships from the corporate sector (non-religious).  I believe we should wisely embrace these relationship skills and strategies that can equip us to live with healthy, vibrant relationships in the church.

The very sad thing for me is to watch the mis-management of relationships within the church and the division this causes.  In some cases lives are destroyed as people totally discard their faith and walk with Christ through disappointment and disillusionment.

What are some of the relationship issues you have experienced in church life?   Are you still carrying within your heart the not so positive experiences you have had?  Some of these experiences could have been: 

Church Group

  • Incorrect use of authority
  • Favouritism
  • Jealousy
  • Lack of wisdom
  • Poor or no communication on issues
  • Frustration
  • Lack of direction and vision
  • Harsh judgement
  • Rejection
  • Disrespect

Whatever your experience has been, if you are carrying negative emotions within yourself about these experiences, then you are being robbed of vital energy, your ability to hear clearly from God and the ability to flow freely in the calling and gifts God has placed on your life.

Could these situations have been handled differently to produce a better outcome for you?   I cannot actually answer that for you, however I can say that I believe there are always fresh ways and greater levels of relationship management skills that are available for us that we can learn from and apply to situations that challenge our relationships. 

Regardless of past experiences it is time to allow yourself to be renewed, receive fresh understanding and move forward into new, enriching and balanced relationships within the church.

What I offer:

The relationship coaching I offer for those in involved in church life has three facets:


  1. Restoring wholeness to individuals or couples crushed by their experience in church life
  2. Restoring damaged or broken relationships within the church
  3. Providing contemporary relationship management skills and strategies for those in positions of leadership in the church or ministry

If your life has been crushed by unpleasant relationship experiences in church life or if you are living in church life amidst damaged or broken relationships, relationship coaching can:

  • Restore your spiritual and self-esteem
  • Rebuild your personal relationship with Christ
  • Refresh your personal vision and clarify your future direction
  • Establish what is important to you in relationships
  • Create pathways for repairing damaged or broken relationships
  • Give you enhanced relationship building skills and strategies to protect your future relationships within the church
  • Provide wisdom in the management of specific relationship challenges you are having within the church

I encourage you to consider accessing the unique relationship coaching I offer that can assist you move into a place of wholeness and emotional freedom in your relationships and church life.   This will be one of the most important and life changing personal investments you will make in your life.

Church Leadership

If you are seeking greater understanding on how to manage relationships within church life or a ministry, the relationship coaching I provide will:


  • Impart contemporary strategies and skills for managing relationships in church life
  • Balance biblical truth with corporate understanding of the most effective way to manage relationships
  • Establish what is of importance/value to you in relationships
  • Skills for building the quality of relationships you wish to see in your church
  • How to manage communication on the tough, touchy relationship issues you encounter
  • Strategies for management of crucial conversations
  • Dealing with controlling behaviours within relationships
  • Boundary setting

Relationship issues left unattended become gateways for dissention, division and mis-understanding.  

They need to be dealt with promptly and effectively.  The relationship coaching I am providing is unique to those in church life.   I encourage you to connect with me to discuss the particular relationship challenges you are facing in your leadership within the church and the results you can expect to see from the coaching.

Church Clergy