Zing in your relationship

Being “partnered to depression” takes a heavy toll on your relationship. 

There is the ever present tension and friction that comes from the “dark” moods, sense of detachment, lack of motivation, uncertainty and emotional numbness.  Intimacy within the relationship can be extinguished.  This is not a good feeling.  

Can the situation be changed? 

Absolutely!  By learning some masterful skills you can begin to make changes to your relationship and even get some “zing” back into it.

Is it worth my effort to get the “zing” back?

This is entirely up to you.   You have chosen to stay within the relationship.  Can you continue in a relationship where there is little expression of attachment and intimacy?  

If not and if someone could show you how you can begin to restore closeness within your relationship, my guess is you would think it worth the effort!  Your partner ultimately will find it invaluable if you choose to make the effort to put some “zing” back into the relationship.

So why should you be the one who makes the effort?

Due to the depression it is normal for a partner to become self-centred and introspective about their situation.  This means they will find it difficult to express positive emotion to you.   They are most likely feeling a great sense of guilt, fear and uncertainty.  

Also the medication your partner could be taking for their depression will most likely be impacting on their need for intimacy.   This can easily be interpreted by you to mean that your partner does not love you any more.  In most cases this is far from the truth.  

Your partner may need to be taught again how to love and be intimate and you are the only one who has the special gift that can revitalise the intimacy in your relationship.   It requires patience and understanding.

Is this possible?

This may seem a big ask of you to be actually teaching your partner to respond to love and intimacy again.  From experience I know it is worth every effort you make.  The best place to start is finding the right time to have an open conversation with your partner about how much you appreciate feeling close to them and having their love in your life. 

Let them know how much you are missing even the small gestures of intimacy such as holding hands.   Be content to start with the small gestures of intimacy because that is all your partner could be capable of at this point in their depressive cycle.

How can I become masterful at creating intimacy within my relationship.

You need to talk to Christine McRae, The Trail Blazing Woman. Christine has lived with a partner suffering from depression for over 20years and has learned the keys to becoming masterful at putting “zing” back into a relationship that has been strongly impacted upon by depression.  Her relationship has been transformed through the skills and strategies she has been taught by the professional people working with her and supporting her on her own journey.

Copyright Christine McRae 2009

christine1263_smlContact: You can read my story and my partner’s story on my website www.trailblazingwoman.com.au.   Take the time to browse through the web site and discover the personal journey I have been on. Look at the services I offer and the qualifications I have to work with you.   Together we can find the secrets to restoring intimacy within your relationship and even add some “zing”, so that your relationship finds a new level of fulfilment. 

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Christine McRae is the founder of The Trail Blazing Woman business which has been established to bring support, understanding, solutions, energy and freedom to women who are living with a partner with depression.  Christine offers a unique service, based on her own personal experience and years of study and training, that provides the tools, techniques and resources to assist these women reach a place of new found emotional freedom and energy.

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